Advertisements
7 Comments

The Top 11 Gayest Video Games of All-Time

CAPTAIN RAINBOWHomosexuality, gay issues and same-sex relationships are becoming increasingly more accepted by mainstream media and, as such, video games also seems to staying equally relevant. From decision-making games giving the player the option to have a same-sex relationship to gay-themed games to games that seemingly want to scream out ‘homo’ at the player, we’re seeing a fair few games out there that are, either literally or not, pretty gay.

‘But what would be your top ten gayest (yes, that’s a word now) games of all-time,’ I hear none of you ask — well, dear non-existent reader, here are the top ten gayest video games of all-time!

Elite Beat Agents


Released in 2006 for the Nintendo DS, Elite Beat Agents is a rhythm-action game featuring three men in suits cheer-leading to pop songs to get people through difficult situations in their lifetime, and that’s literally the entire plot behind the game.

Although men in suits dancing cheerily and cheer-leading is pretty gay on its own, the game’s developers figured they’d have them cheer-lead to YMCA as one of the game’s tracks to make it that tad bit queerer. This game’s one of the best that the handheld has to offer, but yeah, it’s super gay.

Captain Rainbow


Created by Skip Ltd. (Chibi-Robo!, Art Style) for the Nintendo Wii in 2008, you play as young man whose alter-ego is that of the eccentric-looking, once-popular TV superhero Captain Rainbow on a quest to regain his former fame, bumping into other ‘forgotten’ Nintendo characters along the way. One of those aforementioned characters is Birdo – the transgendered pink bird from Super Mario Bros. 2.

I’m not sure why I’m even trying to justify this one, it’s called Captain Rainbow, for God’s sake.

Bully

Released for the PlayStation 2 in 2006, Bully (Canis Canem Edit) is one of Rockstar’s finest open-world games and is, quite frankly, dying for a sequel already. It was also one of the earliest games that let you choose to kiss a boy if you wanted to, making it also the first video game to explore teenage sexuality to this extent.

Considering it’s a Rockstar game, the matter is handled pretty… well, sensibly. The boys you can kiss aren’t extravagant gay stereotypes and your decision isn’t turned into a giggle fest. I’m sure people deciding to actually do it have a good laugh about it, but it’s handled carefully in-game.

Mount Your Friends


Costing you 80 MP on the Xbox 360, Mount Your Friends is absolutely one of the gayest games ever. Like, ever. It’s a ragdoll physics-based game that has you fling your limbs around in order to stack together a tower of nearly-naked men.

As if that didn’t seem gay enough, you see their junk flinging all over the place in their pants. And all too often, you grab the junk of another man. A game for all your friends and family, then!

Mass Effect 3


Mass Effect’s first installment was released in 2007 by BioWare – a developer famous for allowing same-sex relationships in games like Dragon Age and Star Wars: The Old Republic – but it was only with the series’ third entry that you were given the option to enter a same-sex relationship yourself. Seeing as this allows some same-sex relationships/sex whether you’ve chosen to play as the male or female Shepard, Mass Effect 3 likely remains to be the game with the most extensive gay relationships and well-developed gay characters – despite games like Skyrim also allowing similar options.

Robot Unicorn Attack

Created by Adult Swim Games, Robot Unicorn Attack is so gay that even its sequel has been unable to out-gay it. It has rainbows, it has unicorns, it has fairies and it has that super-queer song playing in the background turning every cell in your brain homosexual. This is about as gay as browser-based games get, folks.

Fable


Alike most of BioWare’s RPGs, the Fable franchise gives you the option to have relations with (and marry) a member of the same-sex as your character. Fable gives you quite a lot of option in this sense and that alone makes this game quite gay-friendly – but then there’s little addition to the game that makes it that bit gayer.

The whores. Yup, that’s right — there’s a few prostitutes like ‘Bruno the Whore’ here who you can ‘rent’ for up to 7 days. Kinky.

Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony


So it’s got the word ‘gay’ in it, so that’s something. It’s quite a bold move by Rockstar to name a mainstream game like this, especially as a large portion of its playership would likely feel a ‘bit gay’ purchasing and playing something with even the word ‘gay’ in it.

One of two episodic titles as an expansion of Grand Theft Auto IV, you play as a full-time assistant of nightclub impresario Tony Prince, a.k.a. Gay Tony. The game itself is a contrast to the other expansion, literally appearing to be more colourful in-game with less dull weather and rainbow-splattered menus. All in all, this game’s pretty gay.

Supergay and the Attack of His Ex-Girlfriends

Developed by a company called KlicRainbow (a pretty gay start to begin with) for the iOS, you play as a scientist that’s become the superhero alter-ego Supergay in order to stop an army comprised of clones of his ex-girlfriend. Or something.

Consisting mostly of mini-games (one of which plays like Elite Beat Agents), Supergay has superpowers such as ‘Rainbow Ray’ and ‘Gay Power’ and dresses himself in mostly pink attire. I can’t really tell you whether it’s a good game or not because honestly, I’m not gay enough to even consider downloading this. But you are.

The Sims


The Sims series has famously always allowed, in some form or another, the ability to flirt with, have relationships with, have sex with and marry Sims of the same-sex.

For many, it’s literally a highlight of the franchise, and nowadays marriage between two same-sex Sims is virtually indistinguishable from heterosexual marriage. Seeing as you can start a same-sex relationship with literally any Sim you wish to in the neighbourhood, it could be said that all Sims are a base-level bisexual or that every Sim has the ‘potential’ to be homosexual.

My Ex-Boyfriend the Space Tyrant


So, My Ex-Boyfriend the Space Tyrant is likely the gayest video game of all-time.

Intended for a gay audience in the same vain as films and music that place themselves in the sub-genre of ‘gay’, My Ex-Boyfriend is a PC point-and-click adventure set in space. With gays. And massages. And gays. And shirtless men in underwear. And homosexuals. And… look, just watch the trailer, it’s super gay, okay?

Feel that we missed out some pretty queer games in our list? Tell us what you think are the most gay video games you’ve played in the comments below.

Advertisements

About Ryan Brown

Commonly going by the alias 'Toadsanime' online, Ryan Brown acts as Coin Arcade's editor and primary writer. With an avid interest in various aspects of gaming -- including general gaming, indie gaming, retro gaming and merchandise collecting -- he aspires to build a career in the video game journalism industry. He also writes his own descriptions as if talking about somebody else, apparently.

7 comments on “The Top 11 Gayest Video Games of All-Time

  1. Cho Aniki

  2. I’ve always wanted to play Captain Rainbow, flamboyant suit or not.

  3. GAYS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: